Family Counseling: Rebuilding Connections and Communication
Every Family Faces Challenges
No matter how big or small, our families can be our biggest support system. We often rely on our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, or guardians to help us, and we may find ourselves serving as helpers for those in our families.
However, families can face their own struggles—sometimes between family members—which can quickly become sources of contention. All families face their challenges. Even the most loving families can feel disconnected or stuck in patterns of conflict.
Miscommunication, generational differences, life transitions, or past wounds often create emotional distance, which can be tense for families to navigate and lead to conflict. During tumultuous times, and even when familial relationships feel strong, family counseling is a path toward deeper understanding, healing, and stronger relationships.
At Insight Northwest Counseling, we provide family therapy services that benefit all members, no matter your familial make-up, to help rebuild family relationships.
What Is Family Counseling?
Family counseling is a therapeutic approach that works with families as a system, not just individuals. With guidance from a specialized counselor, family counseling helps families to address conflicts by improving communication and helping them to develop stronger problem-solving skills.
The primary goals of family counseling include improving communication, rebuilding trust, and strengthening connection, to help families grow.
Notably, family counseling keeps a focus on the family system and aims to reduce conflict through practicing new ways to communicate between family members. Strengthening communication between family members intends to develop better relationships, boost overall family well-being, and help family members trust in one another.
Depending on the conflicts your family is facing, sessions may involve different family members at different times. Nevertheless, the focus always remains on the family, and the roles we play in our families. Therapists help explore patterns, roles, and communication styles between family members.
Essentially, family counseling intends to help families get along better.
Our families are all different and all types of families are supported by family counseling. Biological, blended, adoptive, chosen families — all are welcome. No matter the dynamics of your family, we all face issues that we may not be able to resolve on our own. Family counseling offers a space to work on these problems, find resolution, and move forward.
When to Consider Family Therapy
When should you consider family counseling? There are many reasons families decide to begin family counseling. No matter the reason, the end goal is usually the same: for families to learn how to solve their problems together.
Common Reasons Families Seek Counseling
Ongoing conflict, miscommunication, or silence
Perhaps, you may notice you and your family can’t move forward from the same conflict, or you’re always disagreeing. Or, you’re not seeing eye to eye. Or, you’re not as open with one another and silence is more common than talking.
Life changes (divorce, relocation, illness, grief)
Divorce, moving, illness, or loss are major life changes that are hard for anyone to navigate. Sometimes, these shifts in our lives can be hard to figure out as a family, and we may require additional help.
Parent-child tension or sibling struggles
Parents and their children, or even the children, can struggle to get along. As a parent, you may find yourself arguing repeatedly with your child. Or, you and your sibling may not be getting along due to past traumas or current issues.
Mental health or substance use impacting the family dynamic
Mental health decline, substance use, or both can weigh heavy on families, impacting how you all relate to one another. Often, families will reach out to specialists to help their loved ones overcome these struggles.
Signs It May Be Time
While the above are common reasons why families seek counseling, below are signs that show it may be time to ask for help. They usually signify rifts between families or spell potential future conflict.
Feeling misunderstood or shut down
Cycles of blame, resentment, or withdrawal
Avoiding important conversations
Many families believe family counseling is only necessary during major life changes, or when you’re starting to notice signs that something is off. While there are benefits of family counseling for conflict, therapy isn’t just for families “in crisis”—it’s for any family that wants to grow closer. While family counseling is a great approach for rebuilding family relationships, it can improve communication in families even when the family bond already feels strong.
How Family Counseling Improves Communication
One of the key tools family counseling helps to strengthen is communication. Understandably, communication is crucial to the well-being of any family unit, regardless of who you consider to be your family. The way we speak to one another and discuss our feelings, and also how we choose to, is pertinent and integral to our strength as a family.
Learning New Communication Skills
Poor communication skills can often be an impediment to overcoming conflict. But your family’s communication style doesn’t necessarily need to be bad. Maybe, you need to learn new methods to effectively communicate with one another.
Family counseling can help you to learn and practice new communication skills, such as:
Active listening, meaning a communication technique where you focus on the speaker and understand their message and intentions, rather than waiting for your turn to speak
Assertiveness without aggression, meaning explaining how you feel while remaining regulated and aware of your tone
Naming emotions without blame, meaning using “I feel” statement to express your emotions and feelings, rather than blaming others.
Understanding Emotional Triggers and Patterns
Improving communication between family members creates a space for everyone in your family to speak comfortably and confidently to navigate the problems you’re facing. Through active listening, assertiveness, and naming emotions without blame, families can work to break cycles like defensiveness or avoidance, while creating space for each person’s perspective. Conversations during family therapy can help members discover and understand emotional triggers and patterns that may be holding everyone back.
The Role of the Therapist:
So what does the therapist do during family counseling?
Your therapist is a neutral guide who helps everyone feel heard. A family therapist supports empathy-building and problem-solving, with the goal of helping families reduce and resolve conflicts together. Sessions with a family therapist may include various therapeutic techniques intended to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Your therapist wants to lead your family through growth.
Rebuilding Trust and Strengthening Connection
Family counseling can help to rebuild trust between families and strengthen their connection. Some families may seek counseling to resolve conflicts or life changes, while some may meet with a family therapist to continue to build on an already strong foundation and dynamic.
Healing Past Wounds:
Past traumas between family members can often play into current issues. We may have hurt or loved ones, or maybe we were hurt or slighted in some way by our family. Addressing old hurts in a safe, structured way can help to heal past wounds. Family counseling also allows for making room to apologize and forgive one another and ourselves.
Building Connection Through Shared Goals:
During family counseling, the goal is to help strengthen your family. To improve familial bonds, your family needs to build connections. Often, the best approach to doing this is to work towards shared goals, like bettering the ways in which your family can resolve conflicts. Creating routines, rituals, and family agreements can help to keep families connected. Likewise, practicing vulnerability and emotional safety can foster a space where everyone feels comfortable to open up and communicate to work on your goals.
Focusing on Strengths:
While family counseling may feel intimidating at first, you should always remember that you are meeting with a family therapist to heal and grow. During sessions, it is important to celebrate each person’s role and contributions, while reconnecting around values, not just problems. The problem may feel like the only thing your family has in common; however, it’s your connections and values that can help you resolve any issues. Highlighting how everyone contributes positively to the family is a reminder of why you want to strengthen your bond to begin with.
Family Counseling at Insight Northwest Counseling
At Insight Northwest Counseling, we offer family counseling to Eugene, Bend, Lake Oswego, and the surrounding areas in Oregon, including Portland. We have a team of licensed professionals who specialize and focus on meeting your family where you are and supporting you on your journey to a closer and stronger family unit. Regardless of what brought you to us, we are eager to walk by your side through the trials and complexities of family relationships.
Our Approach
We are compassionate and follow an inclusive, strengths-based approach to family counseling. Our therapists are trained in family systems, trauma-informed care, and communication models to help your family resolve any issues you may be facing.
In-Person and Virtual Sessions
We offer in-person family counseling at our locations in Eugene and Portland, Oregon for families looking for a safe space. Flexible scheduling is available to meet the needs of busy families, along with virtual sessions that work for your schedule.d.
Types of Support Offered
At INC, we cover parent-child work, sibling sessions, blended family support, co-parenting, and multi-generational dynamics. We want to provide our family clients with a safe space to share, feel heard and also to hear others. We want each member of the family to feel supported, valued and recognized for their role in the family.
Every Family Deserves a Safe Space to Grow
Family counseling creates space for understanding, connection, and lasting change. Even families with an already strong bond seek family therapy to maintain their connection and help it to continue to grow.
Seeking therapy is a sign of strength and love, not failure. It’s empowering to want to resolve conflicts and to learn ways to navigate future problems or life changes through effective communication.
Reconnect with each other—schedule a consultation with Insight Northwest Counseling today to rebuild family relations and empower your family through the benefits of family therapy.