Managing Back-to-School Anxiety for Parents and Kids
The Back-to-School Transition Can Be Overwhelming
School’s almost back in session.
New routines, academic pressure, and social shifts can make the start of school stressful—for kids and parents alike.
Especially coming off summer, a time for rest, relaxation, and recharging, starting the new school year can often be a jarring transition. The emotional weight of school can easily cause back-to-school stress and anxiety, both of which are quite common. But the key is knowing how to prepare for this change.
With the new school year only a month away, it’s important to find ways for not only students, but parents, as well, to ready themselves for this shift and the stressors that are surely to come. Insight Northwest Counseling would like to offer practical, compassionate strategies to support mental health during the back-to-school season.
Understanding Back-to-School Anxiety
Back-to-school anxiety is a common experience for both children and parents, often surfacing in the last month of summer break. While kids may vocalize their lack of excitement over the upcoming academic year, their anxiety may not always be expressed in words. Instead, it can show up through physical symptoms like trouble sleeping or stomachaches, as well as emotional changes, like irritability or clinginess—especially younger ones who fear being separated from their parents, guardians, or caregivers.
Parents often find themselves feeling the same back-to-school stress and anxiety at the end of the summer. Many may worry about their child’s academic performance or how their child will manage emotional stress during a busy school year, especially as their children enter adolescence or teenage years. There’s also the pressure of jumping back into the school year routine and balancing the demands of work, parenting, and school schedules.
So, why does back-to-school anxiety happen?
A major factor is uncertainty: new teachers, new peers, tougher subjects, and a different class schedule can all feel overwhelming. Social pressure plays a role too, as kids wonder how they’ll fit in, make friends, or keep up academically. And for both kids and parents, there’s the fear of separation. Summer vacation usually leads to children being at home during the day, meaning time spent together as a family. But, with the upcoming school year, children will be out of the house again.
Back-to-school anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong. It’s a signal that support is needed. In fact, this anxiety is a normal, even expected, reaction to change. Recognizing back-to-school anxiety as a shared, manageable experience helps everyone (kids and adults, alike) feel more equipped to face the school year with confidence.
Tips for Supporting Your Child’s Mental Health
Supporting your child’s mental health is especially important during times of transition like the start of a new school year. The following small, thoughtful actions can make a big difference in supporting your child’s overall well-being when school’s back in session.
Establish Predictable Routines
One of the most effective ways to help is by establishing predictable routines. Over the summer, parents or caregivers may give their children more leeway when it comes to routines. We all deserve a break, after all. However, a consistent morning and bedtime schedule helps create stability by giving your child a clear sense of what to expect each day. During the month before school starts again, slowly adopting a consistent morning and bedtime schedule can help your children prepare for the return to the academic year.
Talk About Feelings Openly
Another essential strategy is to talk about feelings openly. Validating fears without trying to fix everything helps your child feel comfortable to open up about how they’re feeling. Create a space for your child to express their fears or worries without judgment, and listening and validating their emotions can be incredibly reassuring. This helps your child feel seen, understood, and supported. And, you may realize that both you and your child are feeling back-to-school anxiety.
Practice Separation Gradually
For younger children or children of any age who are struggling with separation, practice separation gradually. Start with short goodbyes at familiar places. Consider even doing trial runs, like visiting the school or walking through the morning routine, before the first official day. This helps your child build confidence and lessens anxiety surrounding returning back to school for the day.
Empower Kids with Tools
Finally, empower kids with tools to manage their emotions, maybe even the tools you use to help regulate your own emotions. Teach them simple breathing exercises they can use when feeling overwhelmed. Encourage positive affirmations and self-talk, and offer transition objects, like a small item or tchotchke from home they can carry in their backpack.
Self-Care for Parents During the Transition
Parents, too, are not immune to the stressors of the upcoming academic year, and can benefit from the same efforts to promote self-care. Taking care of yourself is a necessity during transitions, and it can serve as a powerful example for your children who may be navigating the same back-to-school stress.
Acknowledge Your Own Emotions
Often, parents may experience their own wave of emotions. As always, it's important to acknowledge your own emotions during this time. Feeling guilty, overwhelmed, or stressed doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. These feelings are common—in fact, it means you're human. Talking to a spouse, partner, friend, journaling, or even seeking therapy can be powerful tools for processing these feelings and staying grounded.
Set Realistic Expectations
Learning to set realistic expectations is a key skill to helping anyone remain grounded. The back-to-school season doesn’t have to be perfect. Your child may struggle with an assignment or making friends, routines might take time to feel like routines and that’s fine. Be flexible and do your best to stay focused.
Build in Micro-Moments of Care
In the midst of homework, after school activities, play dates, and work, find time to build in micro-moments of care for yourself. Sometimes, a short walk around the block, deep breaths between errands and activities, journaling, or a quick chat with a friend can be a much needed reset. And, importantly, these micro-moments of care can have a big impact on your overall well-being.
Model Healthy Coping for Your Kids
Finally, remember that your children watch how you navigate stress. Model healthy coping for your kids by acknowledging your own emotions, setting realistic expectations, and taking a moment for yourself. Showing yourself compassion to show your children what self-compassion looks like.
When to Seek Extra Support
Some anxiety is a normal part of the back-to-school transition. However, there are times when to seek therapy for school anxiety.
Signs Your Child May Need Counseling
It may be time to consider counseling for your child in Eugene or Portland, Oregon, if they show persistent distress, refusal to go to school, are becoming withdrawn, or expressing increased aggression. These signs may indicate that your child is struggling to cope with anxiety over the upcoming school year and could benefit from professional counseling to better navigate their emotions.
Support for Parents
Parents also deserve support during challenging transitions. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore the many worries that come with back-to-school time and help to provide tools to manage stress and foster emotional resilience. When parents take care of their own mental health, it creates a healthier, more supportive environment for the entire family.
How Insight Northwest Counseling Can Help
Insight Northwest Counseling is here to help as summer winds down. With locations in Eugene and Portland, Oregon, we offer a range of services tailored to meet your family's needs—including child therapy, teen counseling, and parent support. Our experienced, compassionate therapists create a warm, nonjudgmental space where families can feel heard and understood. We're here to work with you or your child.
Reaching out for help is an extremely helpful tool to help navigate times of transition, like going back to school. We’re eager to help you and your child face life’s transitions with greater confidence.
A Calmer Start Is Possible
Back-to-school anxiety is normal for both parents and children—and manageable with support, routines, and connection.
Small steps, like supporting your child’s mental health and making sure you as a parent practice self-care, and shared understanding can make a big difference.
Contact Insight Northwest Counseling for compassionate support for you or your child this school year.