Why It's Okay to Not Be Okay: Destigmatizing Therapy
Let’s Talk About What We Don’t Talk About
It’s easy to share how we’re feeling when life is going well. People love to talk about their achievements or post major life events on social media. Especially with the advent of social media, we’ve become a culture of appearances, seemingly only talking about how everything is okay in our lives.
Understandably, it’s hard to admit when we’re not okay—and staying silent when we’re not feeling our best is quite common. This stigma, shame, exhaustion or fear often prevents people from seeking therapy, even when they know they’re struggling. But you’re not alone. It’s time to talk about the things we don’t want to share and when we’re not feeling ok.
This blog’s focus is on destigmatizing therapy, exploring the roots of mental health stigma, and why reaching out for support is a powerful, hopeful choice.
Understanding the Impact of Mental Health Stigma
What Is Mental Health Stigma?
Mental health stigma is internalized shame, cultural taboos, and fear of judgment that make us think it’s not okay to not be okay. The shame we feel and fear of judgment is often an internal feeling akin to “What will people think?” On the other hand, some cultural taboos may tell us to swallow our bad feelings and pretend that everything is fine.
This stigma may show up as hiding struggles, avoiding therapy, or minimizing symptoms. You may notice yourself questioning whether you’re really feeling not like yourself or isolating when it’s difficult to show up to work or social gatherings. Maybe you’ve thought “Do I really need to speak to a therapist?”
Why Is It Harmful?
Allowing yourself to believe the mental health stigma doesn’t change the way you’re feeling. On the contrary, it can usually make you feel worse because it delays treatment and worsens symptoms, such as anxiety and self-criticism. Further, it increases isolation. You may want to hide away more and more because it’s hard to admit when we’re not okay. You may feel hesitant to express your feelings, believing you’re the only one not feeling like yourself. Because of the stigma surrounding mental health struggles, it’s easy and common to stay silent.
What Are Common Misconceptions?
The stigma against mental health often spreads misconceptions about therapy. You may believe therapy is only for “serious” problems, such as crises. You may believe that seeking help means you’re weak. Or, you may believe the “other people have it worse” mindset.
These common misconceptions are simply not true. Destigmatizing therapy will show you that therapy is for everyone, no matter what struggles we’re facing. Your feelings are valid. Seeking therapy doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you want to prioritize your well-being.
Why It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
It’s okay to not be okay because we all experience emotional pain. Feeling these heavy emotions doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and acknowledging when you’re not okay provides an opportunity for validation and hope.
Normalize the Experience
Everyone experiences emotional pain: grief, anxiety, burnout, and uncertainty. These emotions are complicated, heavy, and often tough to manage alone. Mental health is just as important as physical health and requires the same attention. People who exercise regularly do so to maintain their health. When injured, people seek physical therapy to help their body heal. Whether it’s grief, anxiety, burnout, or uncertainty, your mental health requires the same maintenance and care in order for you to heal.
Feelings Aren’t Failures
Just because you’re feeling emotional pain doesn’t make you a failure. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human. Everyone everyday faces complex emotions that overwhelm us. Your grief, anxiety, burnout, or uncertainty is part of the spectrum of emotions all humans face. Feelings are a response to what’s going on around you. And seeking help for mental health is a way to address these feelings.
Validation + Hope
The first step is acknowledging what’s hard without shame. Your feelings are valid and your experience is valid. It’s difficult to finally say “I’m not okay.” Although everyone experiences emotional pain, such as grief and anxiety, people still don’t always speak up when they’re going through a difficult time. But acknowledging it opens the door for you to address emotional pain. While society moves towards being more vocal when we’re not doing okay, therapy can be a space for you to feel seen and supported.
What Therapy Really Looks Like
If you’ve never been to therapy, you may have an idea in your mind of what it’s like. Part of destigmatizing therapy and seeking help for mental health is challenging your own beliefs.
Debunk the Myths
This scenario probably sounds familiar. You walk into a room and lay down on a couch, while your therapist sits across from you. Your therapist then asks you questions about how you’re feeling and why, waiting for a “Eureka!” moment of epiphany.
But that’s not usually how therapy goes. First off, it’s not lying on a couch or being judged. And you don’t have to have it “all figured out” to start.
What You Can Expect
Therapy provides a safe, nonjudgmental space for you to navigate any emotional pain. But therapy is not just emotional pain—individuals reach out to therapists for countless reasons.
Remember, your feelings are valid and so are your experiences.
Therapy consists of collaborative support from a trained, compassionate therapist, who serves as a guide. Therapists don’t tell you what to do. Instead, they work with you to accomplish your goals. And you don’t need to know right away what you want to discuss or change. You simply need to show up and be open and honest. Therapy is non-judgmental and seeks to validate your feelings. Whatever it is you want to work on, whether it’s grief or anxiety, therapists offer tools for coping, insight, and healing.
The Ripple Effect
People who go to therapy tend to notice a new sense of understanding, as well as changes to their mood and behavior. Therapy provides that space for you to navigate any complex emotions and develop tools for coping and greater insight into your life. Importantly, therapy doesn’t just help individuals—it improves relationships, communication, and overall quality of life.
How We Can Break the Stigma Together
Breaking the mental health stigma requires a change in our society’s discourse surrounding therapy and acknowledging that it’s okay to not be okay.
Share and Speak Up
Instead of remaining silent, speak up when you’re not okay. If you decide to meet with a therapist, let your friends and loved ones know. The more we talk about therapy, the more normal it becomes. As we know, it’s hard to admit when we’re not okay, so you might not know who else in your life is having a difficult time. Opening up with trusted friends can inspire others to seek help too.
Model Self-Care and Mental Health Advocacy
Your decision to seek help could inspire others to do the same. If you want to challenge the mental health stigma, share your own efforts to address your feelings. Lead by example and show that prioritizing mental health is a strength. People who seek help with a therapist tend to quickly learn that asking for help does not mean they’re weak. Instead, therapy is a strategy that empowers you and provides you with tools to nurture your mental health.
Support Others Gently
The same way your therapist does not seek to “fix” you, avoid “fixing” your friends and loved ones by focusing on listening and validating instead. It’s hard to speak up. When someone decides they’re finally ready to tell others they’re not okay, the best thing you can do is listen and validate their feelings. Encourage loved ones to consider therapy as a supportive next step and share your experience. This only helps further destigmatize mental health.
Therapy at Insight Northwest Counseling
If you’re seeking help for mental health or know someone who is, Insight Northwest Counseling (INC) provides professional, inclusive, and welcoming care in Eugene and Portland, Oregon. INC has accessible support for a range of concerns—anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship struggles, and more. Trained, compassionate therapists are ready to help you navigate complex emotional pain or whatever is making you feel not okay.
When and How to Reach Out for Help
It’s important to speak up when you’re not feeling okay. Silence doesn’t challenge the stigma.
But how do you know if therapy is right for you?
Signs You Might Benefit from Therapy
Emotional pain is often accompanied by symptoms such as feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and emotionally exhausted. Additionally, you may notice changes in sleep, appetite, mood, or relationships that last longer than two weeks. You don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek help. Early intervention is the best course of action because you can start treatment before further mental health decline.
What Taking the First Step Looks Like
Therapy begins with a simple consultation or intake at Insight Northwest Counseling. Contact us to set up your first appointment. In-person and virtual therapy options are available to clients. The initial meeting is a chance for you to get to know your therapist and for your therapist to get a sense of why you’ve decided to seek help.
Again, you don’t have to have anything “figured out.” The mental health stigma may tell you that seeking help means you’re weak. But seeking help is brave, not burdensome. It’s the opportunity for you to prioritize your mental health, overall well-being, and live life to the fullest. Seeking help could also inspire others in your life who think they need to remain silent.
You Deserve to Feel Supported
Struggling is part of being human. We all face emotional pain in life—we’re only human. Therapy is a powerful step toward healing, not something to be ashamed of.
It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s more than okay to ask for help. Seeking help for mental health challenges the mental health stigma, destigmatizes therapy, and can even inspire others to end their silence, too. If you’re ready to take that step, Insight Northwest Counseling is here to support you—with therapy available in Eugene, Portland, and online.